Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
