Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
