Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
