if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
