I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
