How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize