At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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