Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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