I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
