Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
