I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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