how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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