did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
