Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
