SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize