You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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