I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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