would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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