Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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