The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
