i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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