Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
