im six kinds of drunk right now
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
