I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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