well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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