are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize