The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize