Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
