Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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