i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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