Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
