yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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