I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
