Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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