I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
