I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
