why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
