I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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