Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
