And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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