Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
