I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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