Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize