We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
