i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
