imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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