My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize