i may or may not be watching the land before time
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
