in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
