Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
