I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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