My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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