whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
