I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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