Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize