do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
