I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
