there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
