I wanna bring you to show and tell
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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