If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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