Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
